Life Lessons from the Oldest & Wisest by David Romanelli

Author:David Romanelli
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781510736627
Publisher: Skyhorse
Published: 2018-01-19T16:00:00+00:00

10

THE CURE FOR LONELINESS

The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.

—Mother Teresa

What does your “loneliness” sound like?

I know a kind of loneliness that whispers in my ear:

“You don’t have time to talk to people. Get back to your computer, you lazy-ass!”

“I know it’s a beautiful day to have lunch with a friend, but that’s what the weekend is for!”

“Downtime with a loved one? Dude, you have bills to pay!”

It pushes me to stick to my computer and focus, focus, focus! It’s mean-spirited, very demanding, and toxic.

According to a study by the University of Cambridge, sustained loneliness is twice as dangerous as obesity. And the increased mortality risk of loneliness is equal to that of smoking.

You might be thinking, I’m not lonely so this doesn’t apply to me. This only applies to those people who spend all night surfing the web or watching QVC.

But can you say the same for your partner or your kids or your best friend?

The Harvard Business Review reports, “Over 40% of adults in America report feeling lonely.”

I posted on Facebook: What does loneliness feel like in your life? These were some of the answers:

“Loneliness comes from feeling disconnected to Source, self, and others.”

“Loneliness comes from expecting others to make sure I am not lonely.”

“Sometimes I feel most lonely with someone who doesn’t treat me well.”

“Loneliness is when it becomes habit to not do something for someone else.”

“Real loneliness for me is when no one hears me or tries to understand what I’m saying.”

“I feel lonely for the way I thought things and people should be.”

The answers kept on coming, from all across the planet. In fact, loneliness is such an issue, Britain has appointed a Minister for Loneliness. And the former Surgeon General of the United States, Vivek Murthy, said, “During my years caring for patients, the most common pathology I saw was not heart disease or diabetes; it was loneliness.”

It starts when we are kids. I remember some of my loneliest moments when I was twelve and thirteen years old. I wasn’t part of the “cool crowd.” My parents went out to dinner with friends and my little brother was out with friends, and here I was at home, watching Saturday Night Live, by myself.

Loneliness receded over time but still rears its head in moments of uncertainty.

It’s mostly manageable when you are young. You can work through the argument with your spouse. The holiday weekend when you had no plans will soon be over. The difficult winter will give way to a beautiful spring.

But when you are older, loneliness can be oppressive. It’s much harder to shake the blues when you are struggling to move your aching body, or talk after suffering a stroke, or breathe through your emphysema.

Before reading any further, I want to tell you: there is light at the end of this tunnel!

But the secret lies in what many consider the darkest place.

At a Drinks with Your Elders event in New York City, Roberta took us to this darkest place.

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